Little Journal Of Words

As we walk along the stony pavement on a rainy evening, my full concentration is on your words, and what you have to say. You listen to me, waving my hands in the air, telling you how lousy my day was. I don't know what it is, but I don't feel my heart racing inside my ribcage, or my heart skipping a beat when I'm with you. I don't feel nervous like they say; people feel when they're in love with someone. I feel rather calm and relaxed when you're around. A warm feeling washes over me when you are in my sight. It makes me feel protected and surreal. I don't exactly have words to express what I feel for you. I'm not even sure if I'm love. But there's one thing that I know, I don't feel like this around anybody else, and this is definitely not anything less than love, maybe it is more than that in higher altitudes. Maybe not everyone is able to handle this kind of feeling, like not everyone can climb the Mount Everest. And I'm elated ...

You know what my problem is? I can't fight for the people I want in my life, when someone else is fighting with me. I can't fight back. I just let them take away my most favorite person in the world, and then regret for not actually doing anything at the moment. Because if they really want to stay, they would make an effort to stay with me. I know it's stupid and I agree that I'm a hypocrite, but that is what it is. That is how I feel. But yeah, I'm learning.